All Suited Up!

It was my original intention to swim the Hudson in just my "tri-suit" but after googling "death and NYC triathlon" earlier this week (hey, it's important to be well informed) I had a change of heart. Apparently a swimmer passed away in 2008 after being attacked by a swarm of jellyfish, and the critters have continued to be a problem in the last couple of years. The bodies and dragnet of state's evidence in the river didn't bother me so much, but a jellyfish sting really hurts like a bitch.

Armed with this new information, I made my way to Jack Rabbit Sports on the Upper East side to get fitted for my suit. I explained to the staff that this was my first triathlon and I was looking for something that would keep me warm in the water, deter marine life, and elongate my legs. After taking my measurements, she brought out what was essentially a rubber onesie that looked like it would fit my 19 month old nephew. I assured her that there was no way that 1) this suit was making it over my left butt cheek and that 2) even if it did I would have a panic attack from the constriction, and my mental health coverage for the year was already used up (shocking I know). She told me to just relax (a bit easier for her to do since she was in clothing that did not require special lotion to get a sleeve over your forearm) and that it was completely normal to feel like you couldn't breathe while standing up in the suit. I would eventually get used to the compression and barely notice that my kidneys had been pushed to the front of my body. Faced with either putting the suit on or having to look like a wimp in front of a store full of athletes (they were serious athletes too . . . the kind that don't wear makeup and have sock tans), I dragged the suit into the dressing room and began the 10 minute process of getting it on. I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought. All those years of trying to fit a size 12 toosh into a size 2 dress (that was obviously just cut small) had paid off, and I emerged fully zipped and ready for the three way mirror.

Because the suit is built to make swimmers buoyant in the water, there is about a two inch thick paneling of foam and rubber between the interior of the suit and the outside. Swimmers extol this padding because it increases your speed and efficiency in the water ten fold. I, however, thought it added unnecessary pounds and would gladly sacrifice 2 or 3 minutes of swim time for something a bit more slimming. However, the look in the sales lady's eyes told me I should not inquire about a different model that perhaps didn't accentuate my hips.

In the end, I not only got that suit, but I actually started to hit a groove posing in front of the mirror in my Wonder Woman Onesie. There was something very powerful in knowing that I would be using this suit to complete an event that I had dedicated countless hours and buckets of sweat training for. I looked as strong as I felt, and it was great to have the outside match the inside. Now, I just have to find a great pair of earrings to match!